Fall from Grace

Its nothing you can do to lose the grace of God, yeah? It is after all undeserved favor. So when temptation wins, why is it so easy to believe that I'm not worthy of God's grace. Its not like when I first had it I had earned it right? After all what could I ever do that would earn me such grace? But often I stumble... Occasionally I fall. And it feels like the prodigal son.. Like I could come back; but then how much can I get away with and still come back to open arms. Like yes, I have a pretty good reason to sway. He should understand, right? Besides my nature at its very core is sinful, yes. So it can't be much of a surprise that I am in dirt this deep should it? Then... If only my prayers had been answered.. If only things were different.. If I was different..

But I'm tired of the compromises, tired of only going far enough to still be saved, tired of my impatience with unanswered prayers, tired of eventually taking the easy way out, TIRED!

So: Dear God, give me the ability to hear your voice, understand what you want from me and Do it. Give me the patience to wait for the right seasons, the eyes to see when the season is ripe and the boldness to do whatever it takes. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't change, the courage to change what I can and the wisdom to know the difference. The wisdom to choose right from wrong and the maturity to take responsibility.

Thank you
Amen.

So umm yeah at the risk of this being a dear diary type post... I'm coming back. The pursuit of a testimony aluta continua!